I know - I fall of the face of the earth for a whole month and then back to back entries! Go figure! But I'm frustrated and kind of hurt so hopefully you ladies can help me figure some of this out.
DH and I were stretched out on the couch watching TV and casually debating whether or not to put in central air this summer. DH doesn't think we need it (we live in Michigan) because the summers generally aren't too bad. However, there are days that it gets in the upper 80s/low 90s and our house retains that heat so much that it easily nears 100 in the house at times. And especially at night when I'm trying to sleep, I just can NOT handle that. DH pointed out that I'm easily 45 lbs lighter than last summer and that would help with the heat. I made the comment that I wouldn't be pregnant this summer either. DH scolded me and I said "Well, it's true."
He kind of got quiet and a little tense so I asked if he was okay. He said yes and I said "Really?" All the sudden he said "You know what - no, I'm not." Then he got up, threw a pillow across the room and told me never to say something that stupid again before he stormed out of the room. Now he's actually locked himself in our computer room and refuses to talk to me.
I don't get it - it's not just a matter of attitude, it's essentially fact. The urologist felt his numbers were poor enough that if nothing changed even an IUI wouldn't be an option and we'd have to skip right to IVF. Okaaay...so barring a miracle conception, no, I will not be pregnant this summer. And he's not done much to change that. For heaven sake he even laughs it off when I remind him (daily) to take his pills and hell, even EAT a meal!
So what was so bad about what I said? I wasn't assigning blame. I wasn't taking a stab at him. It was just a matter of fact. And actually, I was just thinking last night that if we're going to do a half marathon, we probably won't start TTC again until next spring. As it is, it'll be at least this fall if not the end of the year to see a change in his s/a results from healthy lifestyle changes. *sigh* And I thought I was hormonal right now.
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3 comments:
Ugh, I am so sorry, K. Sorry that DH acted like that and sorry that you feel frustrated and hurt. To be honest, I think your reaction was perfectly fine. I probably would have reacted a lot worse than this. Honestly, there's a good chance that I would have blown up at my husband months ago. You have every right to express how you feel, K. Every right.
(((hugs))) I wish there was more I could do or say. Please e-mail if you need me.
Ugh, I'm so sorry that this happened. I totally understand your response and I agree with Katie....what you said is totally justified. It is OK if you feel frusrated about everything. I hope you and DH get it worked out soon. ((hugs))
I'm so sorry! What you said is understandable, I hopoe you guys can get this figured out soon!
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