Whiling away another 1WW

Cycle 7, 8 DPO

I say whiling but really it's more like dragging myself through. This was supposed to be my stress free cycle but now that I'm getting closer to AF I'm getting more wound up. It doesn't help that I'm working 6 days a week and trying to get a bunch of stuff done here at home. On top of that, I think I'm getting sick. :o(

Overall, I've been feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I guess the worrying is just in my nature. My biggest mistake was probably taking the OPK this month and knowing when I was Oing. We may have a shot but I'm not terribly optimistic. After 6 cycles, I've had to learn to just assume that this cycle isn't it. I know it's probably better to keep a positive attitude but I just get too hopeful. I've found too many ways to find signs that this was meant to be our month....like when my EDD would have been our anniversary and later my grandpa's birthday or when we would have been able to make our announcement at Christmas or Valentine's Day. It's just all too much any more.

Right now I'm trying to decide if I'm willing to give myself one more "stress free" month or not. The biggest downside to it is that depending on when my O falls, I could end up getting AF to end our 8th cycle on my 30th birthday. I've already been slightly freaked out over completing another decade and I think I might just completely lose it if it wasn't a successful cycle. The upside if we really do try and finally get it right, well, that would be a pretty freakin' awesome birthday present. :o)