So I threw the thermometer in the drawer for this cycle and probably next as well. I just couldn't take it any more. It's been too hard when I know I'm Oing and we don't do anything about it. So I had to just say fuck it for awhile. It wasn't half bad until my brother told me today that their expecting again. Which has prompted tonight's pity party.....
Why is this taking so long?
Why can other people get pregnant on the pill....twice?
Why can some people announce their pregnancies almost instantly without thought to whether or not it'll stick?
Why am I so terrified of finally getting pregnant and losing it?
Why can't my body do the one thing it's supposed to do as a woman?
Why does my mom have to say things like "If you ever have kids..."?
Why is it getting harder and harder to be happy for other people's pregnancies/babies?
Why are there so many fucking pregnant woman and babies around me?!?!
Why did I buy so many damn baby patterns?
Why I don't have anyone I can talk to about all this?
Why are the tears right under the surface at the worst times?
Why can't I let it go?
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