Cycle 12, CD 11
With all the happenings surrounding DH and school, I almost totally forgot about all the stuff that happened the rest of the week! As I mentioned, AF arrived on Saturday so I schlepped to both of DH's school meetings and then to work that night feeling like complete and total crap on Friday. Saturday and Sunday were back to back 12 hour shifts which left me totally exhausted. Thursday marked the official one year anniversary of the beginning of us TTC. I really didn't remember it until this weekend though. I think I'd dealt with it last Monday when AF went really nuts. I ended up with a nice hearty cry in the shower when I saw pink suds going down the drain (sorry - TMI). It just seemed so metaphorical for how I was feeling. Friday I went in to work early and saw no less than 20 cop cars in the few short miles from my house to work, the last 3 of which were camped in front of the hotel next to the urgent care. I found out later that there had been an armed robbery with shots fired (no injures thank God) at the hotel next to work not even 20 minutes before I arrived. The rest of the cop cars I had seen on my way to work were apprehending the suspects. Seriously freaky. This past Saturday my sister came down for a stitch 'n ' bitch while we watched some scary movies. I was luck enough to get my shift covered for Sunday afternoon so I could take DH to the football game. The week ended much better than it began.
And after a lot of back and forth, I ended up joining Weight Watchers today. I've done WW online in the past but never attended meetings. I've been meaning to go join for like 3 weeks now but finally went to do it today before their month free offer expires this week. I don't suppose that it was really a coincidence that the topic of the meeting today was taking care of yourself. It's not something that I do very often or very well. Finding ways and time to put yourself first is easier said than done but I suppose this is a step in the right direction. Better to do it now than trying to figure it out later with a LO, right?
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Waiting and waiting again
Cycle 10, CD 28, 10 DPO
So here we are again, waiting to see if we start another cycle or if by some miracle this was it. I'm not entirely sure if I Oed on CD 18 or 19 because I didn't get a peak reading until CD 18 but my temp spiked on CD 19. FF tells me that I O the day after my first peak reading. But we were on vacation at the time and my sleep schedule was off. To play it safe, I didn't get my 7 DPO labs done until CD 26. I really haven't been temping much lately because well...it almost feels like it's become pointless. I was thinking earlier today about how this has almost become more of a life style type thing because we've been at this so long. It's almost surreal to think that someday I won't have to do all of this monitoring because we'll actually get pregnant. But I learned awhile ago to not assume that this is the cycle and just start planning for the next. It's kind of dejecting to think that way but I guess it protects me a little from not having my heart so completely broken every month.
Next month things will move into another gear either way. DH has his rescheduled s/a for 9/14 and I'm really hoping that I can cajole them into getting the results ready in time for my appointment on 9/18. This one is with my OB/GYN who's over the NP I usually see (and love!). I've not met this doc before because she's just replaced my previous doc there. This is when we'll start things in motion for an HSG (ugh, hopefully I can get it done before the first year students start at the hospital) and whatever else she has in mind for me - likely Clomid. I'll be interested in hearing her thoughts on my progesterone levels last cycle and this (which I don't have results yet) since that's basically all I have to show since last time. So basically this cycle and next are my last chances before having to really plunge into testing.
The other thought I've been circling around is baby bellies. DH and I had talked on vacation about how neither of us really likes to have our picture taken. I don't mind head shots but it really makes me sad to see full body pics of myself because I don't "see" myself as being as large as I am. I've been a big girl all my life and while I'm not as big as I've been in the past, I still want to punch the little Wii man every time I use the Wii Fit and he tells me I'm obese when I weigh in. *sigh* Anyway, I had a really sad thought earlier about how I wonder if anyone will really be able to tell I'm pregnant if I'm this obese. Will I get that sweet baby bump or will I just look fatter than I am? And I can't stand the thought of having to buy even larger scrubs! So of course that started another train of thought about wondering if i could just sew an elastic top into some of my scrub pants when the time comes. *sigh* But then again...I feel like I'm just getting ahead of myself right now....
So here we are again, waiting to see if we start another cycle or if by some miracle this was it. I'm not entirely sure if I Oed on CD 18 or 19 because I didn't get a peak reading until CD 18 but my temp spiked on CD 19. FF tells me that I O the day after my first peak reading. But we were on vacation at the time and my sleep schedule was off. To play it safe, I didn't get my 7 DPO labs done until CD 26. I really haven't been temping much lately because well...it almost feels like it's become pointless. I was thinking earlier today about how this has almost become more of a life style type thing because we've been at this so long. It's almost surreal to think that someday I won't have to do all of this monitoring because we'll actually get pregnant. But I learned awhile ago to not assume that this is the cycle and just start planning for the next. It's kind of dejecting to think that way but I guess it protects me a little from not having my heart so completely broken every month.
Next month things will move into another gear either way. DH has his rescheduled s/a for 9/14 and I'm really hoping that I can cajole them into getting the results ready in time for my appointment on 9/18. This one is with my OB/GYN who's over the NP I usually see (and love!). I've not met this doc before because she's just replaced my previous doc there. This is when we'll start things in motion for an HSG (ugh, hopefully I can get it done before the first year students start at the hospital) and whatever else she has in mind for me - likely Clomid. I'll be interested in hearing her thoughts on my progesterone levels last cycle and this (which I don't have results yet) since that's basically all I have to show since last time. So basically this cycle and next are my last chances before having to really plunge into testing.
The other thought I've been circling around is baby bellies. DH and I had talked on vacation about how neither of us really likes to have our picture taken. I don't mind head shots but it really makes me sad to see full body pics of myself because I don't "see" myself as being as large as I am. I've been a big girl all my life and while I'm not as big as I've been in the past, I still want to punch the little Wii man every time I use the Wii Fit and he tells me I'm obese when I weigh in. *sigh* Anyway, I had a really sad thought earlier about how I wonder if anyone will really be able to tell I'm pregnant if I'm this obese. Will I get that sweet baby bump or will I just look fatter than I am? And I can't stand the thought of having to buy even larger scrubs! So of course that started another train of thought about wondering if i could just sew an elastic top into some of my scrub pants when the time comes. *sigh* But then again...I feel like I'm just getting ahead of myself right now....
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